Are you overworking on autopilot?

The practice of overworking on autopilot is one of the hallmarks of a machine mindset in modern working life. ‘Autopilot’ in this sense refers to the muscle memory that develops as a result of habitual overwork. It includes the act of pushing through and ignoring one’s physical and emotional needs after a major health event, life crisis, death, or trauma.

Overworking on autopilot is characterised by the following five key beliefs:

• I must be perfect to be worthy
• I overachieve, therefore I am – achieving is not enough; I have to work twice as hard
• I must push through my physical or emotional pain
• My worth is tied to my labour and ability to produce
• I didn’t truly earn my success (imposter syndrome)

The perils of perfectionism

Top of the list above is the belief that we must be perfect to be worthy. According to journalist L’Oreal Thompson Payton, author of Stop Waiting to Be Perfect, perfectionism is a dangerous cocktail of constantly trying to overwork, overachieve and prove yourself, often to the detriment of your own mental health and wellbeing.

“I was the straight-A student, I was the valedictorian, I was on the honour roll, I had literal perfect attendance, awards and it all comes at a cost,” Thompson Payton told me. “Sure, it paves the way for success. I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you now, probably, if it were not for a lot of those perfectionist tendencies.

“The downside is how it can become all-consuming and really take a toll not just on your mental health, but also on your physical health.”

Thompson Payton says her perfectionism was largely a beast of her own making. She doesn’t recall her parents insisting on straight As. “I think I was just naturally smart.” She loved to learn, loved school and academics came easily to her. But somewhere along the way, perfection became the standard she set for herself. She told herself she always had to earn an A and be the best to be worthy.

Plus, it didn’t stop with getting the grades and being the best at school. “It was interesting because, essentially, there aren’t any gold stars in the real world, but they do come in the form of awards and as a journalist I won an award from a regional press association in my first job out of the gate and so the perfectionism continued.”

Thompson Payton said the pandemic coupled with an arduous fertility journey caused her to double down on what she could control in her life. She channelled her perfectionist tendencies into her Peloton streak, which she held for more than 600 days, until one day she missed a workout and the streak ended. “And when I lost it, I literally cried. But that was really a wake-up moment for me because I realised my self-worth. I’m still L’Oreal, I’m still worthy of love and dignity. Like every good thing in this world, my self-worth is not tied up in this streak.”

Thompson Payton believes that her perfectionism led to burnout. Years of always trying to be the best, always going after the promotion, constantly overworking and going above and beyond in the workplace all took its toll. She believed that if she did a good job, showed up and did the work, she would finally feel worthy. But self-worth is an inside job that isn’t impacted by perfect performance reviews.

Groomed to overachieve and work twice as hard

Confronting one’s ideas about working hard versus deserving rest can be life-changing and perspective-challenging. I have believed that being a “hard worker” was a personality trait, a value and key to my success for most of my life. I am now revisiting this idea and challenging it. Do I have to work hard to have success? Does it have to be difficult for it to mean I’m doing a good job? Can it just be easy? Don’t I deserve some downtime?

Children who were not born independently wealthy in the 1960s, 1970s, 1980s and even as late as the 1990s often report a common message that came from their parents in those early years: “You have to work twice as hard to get half as much in this world.” Particularly for [those defined as] the working class, immigrants and people of colour, this mantra became a shorthand to explain an American work ethic rooted in the idea that success was tenuous, fragile and had to be wrestled to the ground by brute strength.

However, driving oneself to exert 200 per cent effort is unsustainable and over time can lead to the burnout that so many are collectively experiencing. “We have been groomed to overachieve,” said inclusion strategist and coach Amber Cabral in reference to high achievers and specifically Black women in high-profile roles who’ve had to overcome systemic barriers to get ahead. “We know how to boss up and get it done. So, it’s about reprogramming the idea that it’s weak to say you can’t do more.”

When you’re groomed to overachieve – when mere achievement is not enough – and you’re trained to work twice as hard to be deemed good enough, the stage is set for overworking. You will have created a habitual approach to work that develops its own muscle memory. It becomes the default approach to work and can seamlessly flow into overworking on autopilot.

For overachievers, the idea that a strong work ethic is the most important tool one has to reach one’s goals has been passed down as gospel. “Work twice as hard” is well-circulated counsel that has been passed down through generations and widely accepted as good advice. But, in reality, this is simply a long-held social norm that is just not true.

This is an edited extract from The Rest Revolution: How to Reclaim Your Rhythm and Conquer Burnout When Overworking Has Become the Norm by Amanda Miller Littlejohn, published by Wiley